Friday, May 15, 2009

Will you get dressed now plz? kthx

Wifey works at UCSD, and this weekend is their annual Sungod Festival.

Don’t get me started….

I got an email from Wifey around noon saying that streakers had been reported on campus.

Immediately my mind jumps to the window by her desk, and how not funny she’d think it was if she’d seen them.

Now, I’m not an insecure guy. See, Wifey and me, we look good. Ok, ok... Wifey looks good. And she thinks I look good, which is enough for me. But we’ve got this deal, see. It’s called marriage. And you're not a part of the deal.

So what I’m saying is that I don’t need to see anybody else’s naked body parts! Please cover them up!

Now I understand that many of my readers don’t live in Southern California, so let me break it down for you. It’s bad here, people. Look, I know it gets warm, but please. It’s not that hot. Put on some dadgum clothes.

When I first arrived in San Diego, I thought about starting a sweater ministry. I’d collect sweaters from churches and such, and then wander the streets of San Diego looking for these poor girls that obviously can’t afford more than half a shirt and a scrap of cloth to wrap around their waists. I know we’ve seen paintings of Jesus wearing this kind of thing, but as a guy that’s studied this stuff, please believe me when I say that he wasn’t trying to make a fashion statement!

Let’s be clear here. I have a good friend that lost a bet back when he was in college, and had to cross campus in nothing but his whitey-tighteys. You can debate the morality of that all you want, but you’ve got to admit it’s kind of funny. I’m not talking about that.

[Oh, if I had only kept that picture. You're lucky, dude.]

But just in case there are any guys here that believe streaking may be a good idea from time to time, let me be very clear. No one wants to see that stuff, guys. Please…cover it up.

And ladies, yes, I know your full or partial nakedness gets you attention. But skimpy clothes are not “cute.” Give me a break. And don’t give me that “If you’ve got it, show it off” junk. Cover it up. Save it for your husband. Your beauty is worth something. It’s valuable, in fact. And only you can take away from that, by making it cheap.

Now don’t make me come after you. I may still start that sweater ministry.



  1. It was unreal today at UCSD. There were so many police around, it felt like martial law! The university can barely keep the thousands (literally) of inebriated students under control. I was really glad to get out of work, and have my city bus adventures! Every time I take the bus, it's always a story to tell. But not as good as the stories that Husband tells in his blog :)

  2. Ha! We'll hear from you soon enough. Wifey has agreed to be a guest writer sometime soon!

  3. Streakers=Eww. Not only does no one need to see that, it's not exactly the most flattering setting to have it be seen in! Running, flailing etc. Noooo thank you.

    Great post!