Saturday, May 9, 2009

Which came first: the chicken or the egg?

Are you ready? Cause this question is HUGE! It's been bugging people at least since Aristotle! And today I, Solid, will answer the question, once and for all.

Are you ready? Here goes....

It's the chicken.


And I'll prove it to you. It's simple really.

Let's say the egg came first. What happens when you have an egg with no chicken? Hmm? I realize some of you didn't grow up in a semi-rural community, so let me give you a little insight.

Eggs don't hatch unless there's a chicken to sit on them and keep them warm, unless of course they're in a mechanical incubator, which does sort of the same thing. The little baby chicken inside the egg will die, because there's not sufficient warmth for it to survive. And even if it did, all you've got is a baby chick that can't survive without its mother.

Ever heard the phrase "mother hen?" It refers to someone with strong maternal tendencies. Well, a hen is what you call a chicken when it's a mother. Bet you didn't know that, did you? Even if you did, did you know that chicks don't even know how to drink water until the hen shows them how? If you knew that, you probably have dirt under your fingers as we speak.

Now, imagine a chicken without an egg. We often find chickens without eggs, but if you ever find an egg without a chicken, that egg's never gonna hatch. So you see my point. Simple logic says that the chicken has to come first.

So what's the point? Well, you may have guessed already that I'm trying to point out the importance of motherhood.

I once heard somebody say, "If God has called you to be a mother, don't stoop to become a queen." Now, my mother really was sort of a "mother hen." I can't help but think that part of the reason I drive myself so hard in everything I do is that my mother never accepted anything but the best from me. My therapist agrees. (Just kidding, Mom.)

Seriously though, my mother was a big believer in spank-a-peutic therapy. She used to make us bring in switches from an old peach tree to whoop us with when we were bad. (Don't worry, Mom. The statute of limitations has long since passed.) Anyway, we thought it was really funny to bring in a tiny little twig every once in a while. But that just meant that Mom got to go pick out the switch herself, and she found good ones.

I realize that in the year 2009, a lot of people are opposed to corporal punishment, but my Mom raised two great kids! And my brother too.

How did I get to talking about spanking? I really just wanted to say thanks to the lady that picked me up from school when I cried and didn't want to finish the day.

Thanks to the lady that sang and read me stories before I went to bed, even though she didn't like the stories I picked.

Thanks to the lady that sent me to my room when I swept dust under the living room rug.

Thanks to the lady that took care of me when a dead bird flopping around on the front lawn scared me so badly it scarred me for life.

Thanks to the lady that still spends too much on me at Christmas. (I'm not complaining, mind you.)

I could go on. Thanks to the lady that's still my mom, and always will be, no matter how old I get. I love you, Mom. Happy Mother's Day.

Thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law too, for raising Wifey and making me feel like family! Happy Mother's Day!

Finally, thanks to all you mothers out there that surrender so much of yourselves for your children. There's no greater gift you can give the future than the time you offer them now.


P.S. Have a great story about your own mom? Leave a comment and tell me about it! Peace!


  1. My mother used to have to take care of my health (I'll leave out the lovely details) every hour or two hours, around the clock, for at least the first year of my life. She sat by my bedside while I was sick, and has taken such amazing care of me for many years. My health has been a challenge, but my mother has made it so much less awful than it would have been without her. Whenever I think of her taking in her baby to the hospital at only 3 months old for major surgery, and her being strong and patient through the healing process, and continuing to this day to make sure I'm taking care of myself, I just can't help but get cry-ish. She's the best mother ever, my best friend, and I admire her so much. I know she'd be on my doorstep in a moments notice if I ever needed her. Love you mommy!!

    And big hugs and shout out to my mother in law Candi, who has made me feel more loved and accepted into my new family than I'd have thought possible. She's a wonderful, strong, kind lady, and I'm grateful she's loved her son so good :).

  2. Great post! What a sweet mama you have. I love all the little stories, too--and I imagine that it made her day to read it!

    Yeah, moms pretty much rock. :)

  3. Thank you Baby.....and just think, you grew up big and strong in spite of my parenting skills! I love you more than you'll ever know!