Thursday, May 14, 2009

Do all men have a feminine side?

After yesterday’s feeble attempt at poetry, I realized I needed a little inspiration. The great poets of the English language are probably a little out of my reach, so I’m turning to the people I know. Ok, I’m turning to the girls I know.

As an experiment, I’d like to try to answer the question “Do all men have a feminine side?” by attempting to get in touch with my own feminine side and writing a girl poem.

You know what I’m talking about, right? The kind that doesn’t rhyme or hold to rules concerning meter, verse, or punctuation? They generally have some sort of refrain, and talk about deep emotional stuff. And they usually have a lot of random questions thrown in.

Here goes….

Think metrosexual....

Feminine side...

Feminine side…

Feminine side…

Ok…. I think I’m getting there. Picturing myself standing in front of the mirror for half an hour. Picturing myself pulling into a parking place and not opening the car door for a full five minutes…

Ok, I think I’m getting there. Here goes…


By Solid’s Feminine Side

I’m reaching out to touch you

But it feels like I’m boxed in by walls

That separate me from love

From connection

From you

Do you know me? Do you really love me?

I want to grow

To become more

So I can break through these walls

Like they were made of clay

Or maybe Play-doh?

Can you hear me?

Can you hear my heart?

I miss you

Even when you’re standing beside me

Do you know me? Do you really love me?

Somewhere someone someday

Out there someplace

I am here

Inside walls

Do you know me? Do you really love me?

God, YOU know me and you PANT for me

Like a deer pants for water

Like a deer pants for water

Do my pants?



Dangit, I can’t do this! It’s just as I suspected. I HAVE NO FEMININE SIDE!! 100% male, baby! All man, all the time.

By the way, when was the last time you heard someone tell a woman she needs to get in touch with her masculine side? Please, people…

Do all men have a feminine side? Hmm. Not this one.

Yours truly,



  1. LOVE it. Only because I can relate!! I'm so glad I married a sensitive man who reaches for the inner feminine side. Or at least attempts to from time to time.

  2. I'm afraid if I had a feminine side I would try to molest it.

  3. Yeah, well that was a noble effort...I guess. You *did* sound a bit like a 15 year old girl! But that's not really a compliment is it? ;)

  4. Fifteen? Nope. I usually see these things written by girls in their twenties.

  5. Dear Solid,

    It appears you are incredibly insecure in your own masculinity that you feel it is necessary to demean women.

    I feel sorry for your "Wifey" for two reasons.
    1. She married you.
    2. You call her wifey. Is she so invaluable to you that you have cast away her Christian name, replacing it with something generic?

  6. (To clear up any possible misconceptions, the above poster is not actually me, Solid, the primary author of this blog. That person is simply posting under the name "Solid," for whatever reason.)

    Dear Other Solid,

    Sometimes I feel sorry for Wifey too, but please rest assured in the fact that she called herself that before I ever did. It's just a pet name, like sweetheart, darling, or baby. I call her Wifey not because of her lack of value, but because I value her above all others.

    I've found such anonymity as we use to be common practice among bloggers. Personally, I find it endearing. More importantly, I think people do it for personal protection. By now, anyone that doesn't know her real name hasn't been paying attention, but I digress.

    Thanks for offering a passionate dissenting opinion. I have no intention of editing you, but do you think, to your point concerning the importance of names, it would be more clear if you posted as something other than "Solid?"


    P.S. If you feel like I've demeaned women, I'm sorry to have offended you. This was nothing more than an attempt at humor, and I realize you didn't find it to be funny. Women poke fun at men too, and my opinion is that it's done in good fun. I guess this one was a little bit of an inside joke between me and some of my friends in Southern California, so I can understand a little confusion.

  7. Dear Solid,

    I do not know why my comment appeared as the name "Solid." I tried to change it several times, but it would not be done. My screen name is Solid.Id. Perhaps that is the explanation.

    I assure you, I did not mean to confuse any of your followers or try to be the "other" solid.

  8. Solid.Id,

    Are you also posting as SuperEgo? I get the Freudian references, but I would appreciate if you'd establish a distinct identity. Hey, it's up to you. Did you try Solid-Id?


  9. Solid,

    I am not SuperEgo. There is nothing SuperEgo about me. I am pure id.


  10. Sorry I wasted the time on some of these comments. I think it is easy to misread the written word- HONEST- in place of the spoken word, with all it's nuances and emotions. You just "gotta be there"!

  11. I am female and I have a masculine side -- I wield an electric miter saw every fall and make cat shelters for feral cats. And I drink IPA beer. But I don't burp or fart in public so - I don't know - does it really count???

    -- The Masculine Side Stops - Um - Over There

  12. Anonymous,

    Great comment. Obviously, I was being a little facetious, but thanks for your honesty. So does that mean you burp and fart a lot at home?