Monday, June 15, 2009

Can Wifey beat me at video games?

Answer: No she is not allowed.

You may remember that about a month ago we got an Xbox 360, and I began “teaching” my wife how to play Halo 3.

Well, she’s been getting better. She still can’t quite beat me, but she’s got a lot of talent. She’s improving much more quickly than I am, and I actually have to try to beat her now. I have to use old tricks, like hiding with a sniper rifle on a big map or memorizing the location of the temporary invisibility or the quad damage.

I know. Poor Wifey. You try getting beat down with her gravity hammer and see how you feel.

Well, my birthday is coming up a week from today, and when I got home from work Friday there was a big box on my porch from Amazon. I called her immediately to inform her of the large box that was exactly the right shape.

See, I already knew what she’d gotten me. In the first place, I asked for it. In the second, she got really mad at me last week for not answering my phone when she was stuck at work with a migraine and no car (oops), and she almost cancelled the order. When she recounted the story, she was so mad that she let it slip. I was in enough trouble already, so I held my excitement at the time.

Back to the box. She seriously was gonna make me wait for my birthday! I begged and begged until she finally gave in. Hey, you think I’ve made strong arguments before? You should have heard my undeniable logic! It’s a good thing she gave in too, or today’s topic would have been “Who has the MEANEST WIFEY EVER?!”

She wrapped it while I was in the shower. I ripped through the paper, and there it was. Rock Band for Xbox 360. People, we spent about EIGHT HOURS playing on Saturday and another five or so on Sunday. Our band is called “Training Wheels,” and we’re starting to develop a substantial national fan base.

Here is an real email conversation between my wife and I during the work day today:


Sent: Monday, June 15, 2009 11:50 AM

Subject: sup

yo julez i got a call from jery the maneger at el ocho an he wants us too play this weekend but i sad we wer in ny and to call are manegr cuz were bilding fans here an he sad its cool but i donno wut u think ?



06/15/2009 11:54 AM

SubjectRE: sup

Hey yo Solid I could be feelin el ocho but I’m lovin ny too so like whatevers yo. he could cough up the dough for a jet if he wants it that bad but hey baby you rock my world.


Sent: Monday, June 15, 2009 11:59 AM

Subject: RE: sup

haha yea your rigt but wut about the maneger ?


06/15/2009 12:01 PM

SubjectRE: sup

I aint got time for some guy in a suit tellin me where to be. I know my life better than him any dey.


Sent: Monday, June 15, 2009 12:03 PM

Subject: RE: sup

yea girl u wat me to tell him to stick it or wut?


06/15/2009 12:05 PM

SubjectRE: sup

Shoot man I guess maybe so but I don’t know maybe he’s tryin to help so somethin. Think I’m gonna take me some afternoon beauty rest we just partied way too hard last night yo. back in an hour Solid.


I have come to a number of conclusions….

  1. Rock Band is awesome.
  2. I have the best wife ever.
  3. I had better enjoy my temporary advantage in this game. She’ll be rocking my face off soon.

Hey, has anybody other than me been missing her Saturday blog posts?



  1. I would imagine a few folks wondering why on earth I would give Solid his birthday present a week before his birthday...

    I have this theory, if you would, about being married. I've seen couples that would not give in to each other over pride, over the principle of the thing, whatever that thing was. And yes, there are times you should not give in to your significant other - like when they can't stop drinking, and you have to draw the line and have tough love, or when they steal, lie, don't display integrity, etc.

    But when it comes down to my husband, if I can ever do anything to make him smile, laugh, be happy, feel blessed, enjoy life more, cook what he likes, wear what he likes (seriously!) and generally spoil him rotten, you bet I'm going to do it. This means giving Solid his beloved Rock Band a week before his birthday, because I can, and take advantage of this chill wonderful homework-free weekend we had together - the first one in months.

    Unfortunately, Solid has gained some belly due to this attitude of mine towards marriage, so I'm going to get it together in the kitchen and have to have some tough love and salads or Solid's going to be Squishy.

    If you don't know me personally, based upoon this insight into me, you might think I've become devoid of my own unique, strong willed personality or some such nonsense. I'll not attempt to make myself a morph into something else entirely, just to make Solid a happy camper. I'm still my opinions, ideas, morals and values, etc, etc. I just don't want to have this one life to have a husband, be married, and not make my marriage the most rewarding, blessed, and happy it could be - isn't this why people get married? To love, and be loved? When both of us get home at night, after working so hard, I want home and each other to be so awesome, it's like an oasis when you walk in the door.

    Dang, I really should just write my own dang blog posts. Sorry Solid!!]

    Wifey out.

    and Wifey rocks! Hurray, Rock Band GUITAR!

  2. Solid....I hope you remember to bend over and kiss your lucky....uh....backside! ...and really DO rock! I love ya'll!