Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Would you like to give $1 to support prostate cancer?

Ok, peeps. I’m in a real mood today, despite Boston Rob’s blog (and accompanying correspondence), which pretty much made my day.

Today I was at the grocery store and the checker actually asked the question correctly. “Would you like to donate $1 to support research for prostate cancer?” I still said no. Like I said before, I’m in a mood today. Usually I get “Would you like to give $1 to support prostate cancer?” I generally respond with something like, “No, prostate cancer doesn’t need any help.”

At PetSmart, they ask an even better question. “Would you like to donate $1 to homeless animals?” As if they had wallets! What are they gonna do with the money? Poop on it? (And yes, I actually answer that way. Ask Wifey.)

The other day I was leaving the grocery store and a couple of girls were waiting outside to ask me if I’d like to donate to help polar bears and whales. “No way!” I said. “I hate polar bears and whales! I go out and hunt them every weekend.”

One of the girls got visibly flustered and said, “No you don’t, cause it’s illegal to kill them!!”


Ok, I admit I’m a jerk, but c’mon. Even when I admitted I was kidding and thanked her for her efforts, she couldn’t seem to take a joke.

Yeah, I’m a jerk.

It could have been worse though. As I was walking away, it occurred to me that I should have gotten a very serious look on my face and said, “My dad was killed by a polar bear.”
That would have been really funny.


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