Thursday, October 15, 2009

Late Night on the Road

I think I'd mentioned at some point that I put together a post at one point over my travels last week. Anyway, call me anachronistic (assuming that's actually a word), but here ya go.

Spiritual Journal: Entry ?

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the incredible, amazing wife you’ve given me. Help me to be a better husband, and give her great patience, Lord. You’re great whether or not you do that, but I’d sure appreciate it.


Last night we rolled into the Austin La Quinta around midnight after a full day of traveling. You know how when you get really tired, you tend to either get silly or short on patience? What do you do when you’re one thing and your wife’s the other. Here’s what I mean.

On the way from the airport to La Quinta, we had the following conversation.

Julie: Is that the 35 up ahead?

Me: Nope.

Julie: …

Me: It’s just 35 here. In Texas, we don’t say THE 35. Just 35, or if you have to add in a prefix, it’s I-35.

Julie: …

Me: You see, saying I-35 actually designates the freeway as an interstate, in case you need to clarify, thus adding value. Saying THE 35 is just a waste of a syllable.

Julie: I’m not in the mood for this now. You are NOT helping.

Me: It’s just another example of how Texas is clearly superior to California. When you say THE 35, you’re just wasting everybody’s time.

Julie: Stop it. I’m serious.

Me: It may be a microcosm that gives insight into larger problems. I mean, time is money, right? So time wasted saying THE 35 translates into some small amount of money, but multiplied by millions of Californians, it becomes a bigger issue!

Julie: Husband! SHUT…UP!!! I’m not in the mood for this now.

Me: On the other hand, Texans know how to make use of precious resources. That’s why Texas has no state income tax, you know.

Julie: *leaps for my throat*

Dear Lord,

Bless my wife. Thank you for her already huge supply of patience, and help me to be less… Well, you know.

Yours truly,



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  3. Don't know who this super-ego is, but they obviously haven't been in the backseat on long roadtrips with Solid's family......wonderful conversation! Thank you Father for Julie's patience with David's sense of humor that he most always feels a need to share at the most unhumorous times!

  4. Once again activating your powers of moderation I see . . .

    Did I hurt your feelings with the Texas jokes, or are you going to blame it on Wifey again?

  5. No sir. Your jokes demonstrated bigotry that really shouldn't be considered appropriate anywhere. Please play nice!

  6. Indeed. Consider this my last warning. If you make another statement like that, you'll not be commenting here again.

  7. Jason and I have had the same debate--but in FL, where I tell him it's not "The 10", but "I-10". He just tells me I'm wrong and that everything in California is more awesomer.

  8. A statement like what, "this isn't a game?"

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  10. I say NAY sir . . .

    The definition of bigot is as follows:
    stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one's own.

    You tell about how Texas is "superior" to California. I list two jokes about Texas and you delete me due to your intolerance of my different opinion. You are the bigot here.

    Maybe now you know how your wife felt that night when you were being a douche.

    Now I earned my deletion.

    SuperEgo out!

  11. I'll leave that one up for good measure. Dude, you totally changed that definition around to suit your taste. You found it at, and the full definition is "a prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from his own."

    Incidentally, I chided you because your comments were not directed at Texas, or at the behavior of Texans, but at Texans as a people group.

    So here's the deal. Tune in to my next blog post. I'm giving you one more chance. Until then, I'm proofing every comment.