Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Smart dogs are overrated.

I used to think I wanted a smart dog, so I could teach him a bunch of impressive tricks and run around the park with no leash impressing people with my crazy dog that does card tricks and stuff.

No longer.

I've had a bunch of stupid dogs in my life, and I never really appreciated the value of that until now. Zeke is SMART. He too smart. Yes, he's slowly picking up tricks, and that's great. He knows how to find his own toys, and he pees in a litter box (usually). He learns little tricks in mere minutes, provided he's given sufficient motivation. By sufficient motivation, I of course mean expensive treats. Last night he had fresh lamb, and I had chicken strips. I'm not complaining, mind you. They were really good chicken strips. But c'mon! Lamb?? I get that maybe once every couple of years!

Anyway, today I'm upstairs (where Zeke can't go) trying to get together a writing sample for my Ph.D. applications. Zeke would prefer I be downstairs throwing a ball, or at least taking a nap with him. (I'd prefer that too.)

Yesterday morning I made the mistake of responding to a single, quiet, whiney "Mmm?" sound he made at the foot of the stairs. About an hour ago, I made the same mistake. Now he's sitting at the bottom of the stairs with his little head cocked to the side, one ear flopping and the other standing straight up, going "Mmm?" in thirty-second intervals.

Oh, and did I mention that Julie got the doctor to write her a letter indicating that Zeke is now an "emotional service animal?" Now he flies for free.

I'm starting to think that, at best, I'm the third smartest in this house.


  1. "flys" for free; not "flies" for free. Yeah, third smartest...

  2. Um...sorry, no. It's "flies."

  3. Ok, your wife IS brilliant. Ask her if she can write the same letter, but this time pertaining to my four year old. With the cost of these trans-pacific flights, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

  4. Ah, you are corret, sir. When I googled "he flys" the first was a news headline from CBS news in San Diego: "Pilot Makes Porn Tape As He Flies Over San Diego"


    Thank you for your enlightenment.

  5. Has anyone ever said you look like Jonathan Frakes?

  6. At least you don't have to deal with a whiney cat that thinks the universe revolves around her food dish, and you petting her head whilst she dines.