Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Spiritual Journal, Entry 3:

Dear Lord,

Please help me not to freak out over the stupid GRE, even though my entire future hangs on my score, and I only get one shot, and I have to do well in math even though I haven't had math in over twenty years and theologians don't need math anyway, and where do they get off...!!

I digress, Lord.

Guide me to the right private tutor, and not some goofball that thinks he's smart cause he has a BA in math from San Diego State and scored in the 90th percentile on the GRE. Cause him to stumble; entangle him because I have not the time for his idiocy.

And Lord, help me to be less sarcastic in my Spiritual Formation class, even though it's so hard not to make jokes in there. Or just give my teacher a better sense of humor. Either way, Lord. I don't really care.

Bless the leftover pizza I am about to eat for lunch. Let it not clog my arteries or bring me to an early demise.

Bless my wife. Bring her favor in her job, and humble her boss so that he might understand his bellybutton is not, in fact, the center of the universe. Thank you for her job.

Thank you, gracious God, that in my recent trip to New York City I did not get mugged, nor did the subway come to ruin, even though I don't think I've ever seen a subway in a movie where something bad did not happen.

Thank you for the hidden blessings in that trip, like the unplanned detour to Coney Island because I got on the right train but headed in the wrong direction.

God bless our puppy. Help me not to beat the crap out of him, even if he deserves it. Help him to understand, oh Lord, that pooping on the carpet is not ok, and that chewing on my nose to wake me up is not ok, and that chewing on electrical cords is not ok, and that sleeping on top of my face is not ok, even though it's cute and makes me laugh.

Bless my friends across the world. Starving children, blah-da-blah, the President, etc., so on and so forth.

Yours truly,


  1. And I return . . .

    Why pray for someone else's demise?
    "Cause him to stumble; entangle him because I have not the time for his idiocy."

    Oh well . . . I can tutor you Solid.

  2. Um...cause they're dumb. Obviously.

  3. So a theologian prays for God to negatively intervene in someone’s life because they inconvenienced them? Not to Christiany.

    Like I said, I can tutor you solid.

  4. Ok, a cookie to the first person that identifies the flaw in his reasoning. Too easy for me.

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  9. Dear Lord,
    Thank you for my friend David and his sense of humor. Thank you for giving him the courage to be real and open, opening himself up to criticism and ridicule from people who don't know him. Please bless the readers of this blog and help them to know they are loved by You.

    And other comments:

    -If you other readers cannot detect the tone with which this entry was written, maybe you need to find something else to read, and quit picking on David, who, in case you didn't notice, freely admitted that he is no longer "Solid," but BROKEN, and who never once claims to have all the answers, to be perfect, or to do everything "Christiany." Note that the class he is taking is called Spiritual FORMATION. That even those of us who have been Christians for years know we are on a journey. There will be no end product to our spiritual formation until God calls us to Him. Thank God for forgiveness and unconditional Love.

    -And SERIOUSLY!?! The COOKIE comment!? Are you people KIDDING me?

    -And David, the stories about Senor Pantalones are cracking me up. :)