Err

I've been taking a little break from blogging, but I've got a few minutes right now, and I thought I'd share a little story from over the Christmas break.

We spent the week before Christmas in Hawaii this year. (I know. Poor me.) The last day of the trip, everyone was going down this huge zip line down the side of a mountain. Fun, huh? But they had a strict weight limit of 250 lbs.

Now....that shouldn't have been a problem, but...well... I'm just about 250 if I skip a couple meals the day before, and hey, I was on vacation. I opted for eating poorly and not doing the zip line. Sad, I know.

All this was fine with Julie, because it gave her the opportunity to do what she really wanted: go to a day spa. An I was fortunate enough to come along. Just consider that a moment. Me at a day spa. You'll be both disappointed and completely unsurprised that I passed on the massage, aroma therapy, the rain shower thingy, the steam rooms (they has several varieties), and the salt water infinity pool. I pretty much just sat in a chair, read my book, and waited for Julie.

I did get up at one point. There was a scale in the locker room, and just for kicks, I wanted to see if that morning I actually was under 250.

I stepped on the scale on looked down to the digital readout.

"Err."

I stepped off and tried again.

"Err."

A third time.

"Err."

Then I just let it sink in. I weigh Err. The scale didn't go high enough to measure my weight. You can imagine how that added to my overwhelming feeling that I didn't belong there. I could tell all the metrosexual men in that locker room were watching me, thinking, "What's he playing at? That scale will never measure his weight!" Guess I need one of those scales that trucks drive over, huh?

So a week ago I started a diet. A real one. A serious one. As it turns out, my weight is getting to be a real health issue. I've had high blood pressure during my last three doctor's visits, and I have high levels of some such thing in my liver.

Over the past few weeks, that Err has really sunk in. I'm marking it at my "before" weight. So far, so good on the diet. If there's anyone out there trying to think of the appropriate joke or insult, trust me - you'll never come up with anything better than that bathroom scale.